Sonder in Pop Culture: Seeing the Stories Between the Stories

What is Sonder Anyway?

Let’s start with a little head trip: sonder is that gut-punch realization that every random stranger—yes, even that guy who cut you off this morning—has a life just as vivid, messy, and chaotic as your own. Coined by John Koenig in The Dictionary of Obscure Sorrows, it’s the word for the moment you go from “main character energy” to realizing you’re just one thread in a billion-thread tapestry of human existence.

And guess what? Pop culture is soaked in sonder. It’s what makes a rom-com resonate, a side character steal the show, or a song lyric hit like it was written just for you. Sonder is the beating heart of the stories we love.

Pop Culture: Where Sonder Shines Brightest

Think about your favorite shows or movies for a sec. What pulls you in? Sure, big plots and epic moments are great, but the real magic is in the layers—those little glimpses into other lives. Like Game of Thrones. Dragons? Cool. But it was the intricate web of characters’ lives—every betrayal, secret, and unlikely friendship—that hooked us like medieval soap opera addicts.

And don’t even get me started on ensemble casts. Movies like Love Actually and shows like This Is Us thrive on sonder. They’re basically saying, “Hey, life’s messy and everyone’s in the thick of it.” They remind us that every passerby or background extra has their own mini-epic unfolding.

Even superhero movies, the supposed kings of escapism, lean on sonder. Look at Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse. It’s not just about saving the day—it’s about multiple Spider-People navigating their own universes and realizing their struggles aren’t so different.

Music and the Soundtrack of Sonder

If movies are the visual art of sonder, music is its heartbeat. Have you ever listened to Tracy Chapman’s Fast Car and not felt like you were living someone else’s life for four minutes? That’s sonder, my friend.

But it’s not all about quiet introspection. Even larger-than-life tracks like Queen’s Bohemian Rhapsody are brimming with sonder. Freddie Mercury didn’t just write a song; he handed us a peek into someone else’s swirling storm of guilt, grief, and defiance. Whether it’s Adele making you cry on the way to work or Taylor Swift making you feel like you dated her ex, music creates these powerful little portals into other lives.

TV and Film: The Sonder Superstars

TV and film don’t just dabble in sonder—they revel in it. Look at Succession. It’s a show about power, sure, but it’s also a masterclass in sonder. Kendall Roy’s entire existence screams, “Look at me, I’m a broken mess of daddy issues and ambition,” and you can’t help but root for—or against—him because you get it.

And let’s give it up for Tarantino’s Pulp Fiction. It’s basically a sonder buffet. You’re constantly hopping into different perspectives, from hitmen to boxers to accidental accomplices. Each story is its own fully formed world, but together, they create this tangled, chaotic web of humanity.

Even Disney gets in on the action. Pixar’s Inside Out literally makes you see the world from someone else’s perspective—emotions and all. That’s sonder for kids and grown-ups alike, wrapped in a brightly colored package.

The Paige Perspective

Okay, here’s where I lay it all out: sonder is the secret sauce that makes pop culture addictive. It’s why we obsess over fan theories, spin-offs, and backstories. It’s why the barista in your favorite rom-com feels like they could carry their own movie.

Pop culture is at its best when it captures that overwhelming sense of interconnectedness—that behind every smirk, sigh, or side-eye is a whole life you’ll never fully know. It reminds us that we’re not just watching stories; we’re living them.

But here’s the kicker: sonder isn’t just about understanding other people’s lives. It’s about what that understanding does to you. It makes you curious. It makes you kinder. It turns a random stranger into someone worth wondering about. Imagine carrying that energy into your real life—seeing the world as if everyone’s got a plot twist waiting to unfold.

So, What’s the Takeaway?

Sonder is everywhere in pop culture, and that’s why it sticks with us. It’s the thing that makes you laugh with the supporting cast, cry for the underdog, and see yourself in the villain.

So next time you’re binging a show or belting out a song in the car, remember: every character—on screen or off—has a story as vivid and complicated as your own. And maybe, just maybe, that realization will make the world feel a little less lonely and a lot more interesting.

Until next time, keep feeling all the feels, stay curious, and, as always, stay rad.